Something to learn every day

to be special, you have to be different. to be noticed, you have to stand out from the crowd. a different way of talking, a different set of vocabulary, using the word 'envision' instead of 'plan' in a meeting with the GM in it makes a difference. the impact is surreal, "who do you plan to have as your project manager" and "who do you envision your project manager will be" gives totally the same meaning, but with very different impact.

"to look smart, you must sound smart, and increase your vocab, or the ability to use big words" says one senior manager. and it is true..

let us be outspoken, with big, impact-full words..

my little cute fiance.

i wonder if she loves her wedding ring?

it still needs some re-fitting.

she is gorgeous isnt she?

;)

if you want it, come and get it!!

well, it has been quite some time since my big boss told me that she wanted me to assume my manager's post.

she wanted me?

well, actually i offered myself and she challenged me on taking and living up to the responsibilities of becoming a manager. and i said yes (obviously i'll say yes as i'm the one who was offering myself)

that's when she assigned me with tasks that she said would be her bullets when she wants to present my name as my managers successor. loads of tasks.

this is when i have two choices.

i believe every single one working knows about janji-janji palsu. promises that says if you do this and that, you'll get the promotion. but all ended in vain. so the first choice is to not do it, as one can assume it to be sweet talk that end up in nothing. bollocks.

but me being me, i opted for the second choice. the only choice someone like he has. take up the challenge. to roll up my sleeves and start cracking. to make an impression, your have to go extreme. to be noticed, you have to be different. special. if not you are just like the others. follow the same path of mediocrity.

then the background noises starts to grow. higher decibel with the growing tasks being assigned.

kau lagi ke?

takde orang lain ke?

just like the little little frogs, i choose to ignore these comments. futile i find it if i back off just to satisfy the dissapointed souls.

now she is including me in the managers mailing list. all meetings involving management.

if i did not get it, it is not about empty promises. not about her not trying to promote me. it will be about me not taking the opportunity. not living up to her expectations. not ready and worthy for the promotion.

it is mine to loose.

so what am i waiting for? at this age, these kind of opportunity does not come too often. not to everyone. not even those who are really good.

so..

if I want IT, COME AND GET IT!!!!

i miss her

cant sleep.

staring at my phone. my old sony ericsson. but not at the phone. at my cute fiance's photos

she's looking at shoes. mata bulat.

i miss her.

my life sucks without you

today is the first time I'm in KL all day and did not meet my fiance. and it sucks. well it all started last night..

i should not have been so sensitive about what happened in the past. i always like to think that what happened happens for a reason. and that it makes us stronger. but being a mortal, how good you are in controlling your emotions, sometimes there are lapses, feelings that we cant contain. no matter how cool your are. how compose you are. we are just mortals.

it was not her fault that things happened that way. i guess cute and pretty girls like her gets a lot of attention. unwanted attention. misinterpreted attention.

it is true that i could not understand nor comprehend how it happened.why it happened. how could it happened. despite the reasons, it happened. but i guess sometimes our frame of mind are not the same. the cognitive processes do not correlate in a similar fashion. the understanding of the event is not the same. i see squares when it is round. grey when it is black.

the truth is what we choose believe. i choose to believe her. trust her. as i love her. so much more than anyone could imagine

the quest for the truth is not worth the price I'm paying now. after all what good is the truth what it does not matter anymore.

she loves me. only me. and that is what matters.

hey there blog,

it has been a while since i've scribble here. truth to be said, i've nothing much to write these days as most of the things i wanted to say are better said to my beloved fiance, then to write it here.

Maybe its time to write thing down. get some presepective by reading my written thoughts. that'll be a change in perspective.. the 3rd angle. a new dimension, that may lead to better understanding of things.

lets start off with my burning desire to be replacing my boss. why do i need this so badly. why i'm i chasing it so much, working my butt off to impress and to prove that i'm better than the others.

the reasons are:

1. i'm much much much better then the rest of the guys who are my seniors. let us examine this point:

• Mr. A, 33 years old. Minus points: 4 years my senior does not have the leadership skill, is unable to converse well, only have one 2 in the past 8 years. plus points: 2 years in grade (that's hardly a plus points in my books, but HR does take this into consideration).
• Mr. B, 36 years old. Minus points: never gets 2, new in the division, not proven leadership skill. plus point: 2 years in grade, passed TP, older
• Mr. C, 29 years old. Minus points: 1.5 years in grade, not favoured by direct boss (he preferes someone older). plus points: great leadership skill, excellent ratings, passed technical requirements, favoured by big boss

so what's next?

Answer: work harder to prove that you are mature enough to hold that position!!

there are times that i felt so small. of all the talents that i have, is this the best that i can do? some people might say that well, do are doing quite ok. having decent salary. decent home, 3 condos, rental income. but doing quite ok is not good enough. being decent is a disappointment when you see others driving a BMW 320i, harrier, living a luxurious life. and how they achieve it?

HAVING THEIR OWN BUSINESS..

yaping yaping yaping wont get you anywhere..

31st Oct 2003 - 7 years ago

i've found an email dated back in 31st october 2003...



awak,(mi amor)

its been so long since we' ve written love mails to each other kan...nak dekat setahun? its not that mat jiwang mat hassan is no longer in action..but recently he's more comfortable calling his gf and meeting her thru the webcam. :)

so what's so special about this guy anyway? nape eh kita sayang awak..? sbb b4 this most people would refer him to be hillarious, always trying to impress people..friendly to everyone and mamat yang suka tido byk.(betol tak) __and sume kutukan2 tuh.

that's simply the reason why i love u. (besides being smart and so so adorable), ure wonderful. uve already part of me for the past 3 years and life would never be the same without hearing ur voice talking to me..even it be for a day..and it would be way diff if ure not near me,,usik2 kita sume..(i love it when u touch me):(awak...u're my soulmate awak..with u..i always feel connected. i love and i need u so so much..i know i complain to u a lot and im always degil, breaking promises (sometimes i forget i swear)and i dont know..and sometimes wonder why and how u could stand me. i have to tell u that when im with u, i no longer feel afraid or too small. i would always feel complete, beautiful and capable of acheiving anything when im with u.. ure everything to me,its true to say that i love u more than anything in the world. (maybe i just dont know how to tell it or show it to you)..kita rasa awak manusia yang paling paling kita sayang.(yea, and u would normally say->then prove it)

im going back to uia tomorrow and i know u're going to be bz with ur finals. i want u to know that im always there for u ..uve always been there for me and i want to be there for u too. ive always wanted i life together with u...and i really look forward to it. till then,

i love u always, sayang.

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:)