cant sleep.
staring at my phone. my old sony ericsson. but not at the phone. at my cute fiance's photos
she's looking at shoes. mata bulat.
i miss her.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
my life sucks without you
today is the first time I'm in KL all day and did not meet my fiance. and it sucks. well it all started last night..
i should not have been so sensitive about what happened in the past. i always like to think that what happened happens for a reason. and that it makes us stronger. but being a mortal, how good you are in controlling your emotions, sometimes there are lapses, feelings that we cant contain. no matter how cool your are. how compose you are. we are just mortals.
it was not her fault that things happened that way. i guess cute and pretty girls like her gets a lot of attention. unwanted attention. misinterpreted attention.
it is true that i could not understand nor comprehend how it happened.why it happened. how could it happened. despite the reasons, it happened. but i guess sometimes our frame of mind are not the same. the cognitive processes do not correlate in a similar fashion. the understanding of the event is not the same. i see squares when it is round. grey when it is black.
the truth is what we choose believe. i choose to believe her. trust her. as i love her. so much more than anyone could imagine
the quest for the truth is not worth the price I'm paying now. after all what good is the truth what it does not matter anymore.
she loves me. only me. and that is what matters.
i should not have been so sensitive about what happened in the past. i always like to think that what happened happens for a reason. and that it makes us stronger. but being a mortal, how good you are in controlling your emotions, sometimes there are lapses, feelings that we cant contain. no matter how cool your are. how compose you are. we are just mortals.
it was not her fault that things happened that way. i guess cute and pretty girls like her gets a lot of attention. unwanted attention. misinterpreted attention.
it is true that i could not understand nor comprehend how it happened.why it happened. how could it happened. despite the reasons, it happened. but i guess sometimes our frame of mind are not the same. the cognitive processes do not correlate in a similar fashion. the understanding of the event is not the same. i see squares when it is round. grey when it is black.
the truth is what we choose believe. i choose to believe her. trust her. as i love her. so much more than anyone could imagine
the quest for the truth is not worth the price I'm paying now. after all what good is the truth what it does not matter anymore.
she loves me. only me. and that is what matters.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
hey there blog,
it has been a while since i've scribble here. truth to be said, i've nothing much to write these days as most of the things i wanted to say are better said to my beloved fiance, then to write it here.
Maybe its time to write thing down. get some presepective by reading my written thoughts. that'll be a change in perspective.. the 3rd angle. a new dimension, that may lead to better understanding of things.
lets start off with my burning desire to be replacing my boss. why do i need this so badly. why i'm i chasing it so much, working my butt off to impress and to prove that i'm better than the others.
the reasons are:
1. i'm much much much better then the rest of the guys who are my seniors. let us examine this point:
it has been a while since i've scribble here. truth to be said, i've nothing much to write these days as most of the things i wanted to say are better said to my beloved fiance, then to write it here.
Maybe its time to write thing down. get some presepective by reading my written thoughts. that'll be a change in perspective.. the 3rd angle. a new dimension, that may lead to better understanding of things.
lets start off with my burning desire to be replacing my boss. why do i need this so badly. why i'm i chasing it so much, working my butt off to impress and to prove that i'm better than the others.
the reasons are:
1. i'm much much much better then the rest of the guys who are my seniors. let us examine this point:
- Mr. A, 33 years old. Minus points: 4 years my senior does not have the leadership skill, is unable to converse well, only have one 2 in the past 8 years. plus points: 2 years in grade (that's hardly a plus points in my books, but HR does take this into consideration).
- Mr. B, 36 years old. Minus points: never gets 2, new in the division, not proven leadership skill. plus point: 2 years in grade, passed TP, older
- Mr. C, 29 years old. Minus points: 1.5 years in grade, not favoured by direct boss (he preferes someone older). plus points: great leadership skill, excellent ratings, passed technical requirements, favoured by big boss
so what's next?
Answer: work harder to prove that you are mature enough to hold that position!!
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